March 5, 2019

Need a Pick Me Up? Here are 7 Ways to Make Your Love Life More Exciting!

When you were a teenager, you probably thought you would never not want to have sex. After all, it’s the pinnacle of human experience, right? There’s no way anyone’s ever going to ask you to have sex and you’re going to say, “You know, I’m just not feeling it.”

But then you grew up, maybe had some kids, reality set in, and you realized that tonight, you were way too tired to do anything. Sometimes, it can seem hard to get the fires burning and get excited about sex again. If you’re looking for some ways to spice up your love life, read on for ideas.

1. Get Some Massage Oil

Massage oil is a beautiful thing, and it can do wonders for your sex life. A lot of the times, especially if you have children, things can get hectic. Finding the time to keep up a healthy sex life can feel like just another chore on the to-do list.

One way to make things feel natural and sexy again is to break out some oil and offer to give your partner a massage. They will love the massage and the feel of the oil, and you’ll get to spend time touching them without any pressure to get it on immediately. The slow burn arousal will build up and make for an amazing, steamy night.

2. Get Chatty

One great way to build up excitement about having sex before anyone ever gets undressed is to talk it up. Dirty talk can be fantastic in the bedroom, but it doesn’t have to stay there. And if you’re shy about dirty talking in person, this can be an awesome way to avoid awkward wording worries and still get the thrill.

Spend the day texting with your partner about what you want to do to them when you both get home. Tell them what you have planned and if you want to, maybe snap a sexy picture or two in the bathroom. Talking all day about what you’ll do when you get home will have you both wild for it by the time the day is over.

3. Ramp Up the Anticipation

If you’re going out for a night out, the getting ready part of the evening can be as seductive as the coming home. A part of the fun of sex is the anticipation – slowing down and taking the time to look and appreciate. So why not give your partner the opportunity to do that and then spend some time daydreaming about you afterward?

While you’re getting ready for your night out, try putting on your clothes on last. Do your makeup, shave, or do your hair wearing only sexy underwear (or nothing at all). If your partner tries to enjoy the show early, shoo them off until after you get home when they’ll be drooling over you.

4. Make Out During the Commercials

Do you remember being a teenager and making out with someone and feeling like there was a time limit before someone caught you? The excitement of the time limit made everything all the more tantalizing. Playing this little game can bring some of that back into your love life.

Sit down to watch a game or a show with your partner, and agree you can only make out during the commercials. When the show comes back on, you have to stop until the next commercial break. By the time the show is over, you’ll be raring to go, and we guarantee you’ll never enjoy the commercials so much.

5. Set Up Signals

If you ever took a freshman psychology class, you’ve heard of Pavlov’s dogs and classical conditioning. While it may sound strange to bring psychology into the bedroom, classical conditioning works as well with libido as it does with hunger. But instead of using food, we recommend leaving your partner sexy little signals.

Get a pouch of red beads, small stones, or basically any small beautiful object. Give some to your partner and agree when they leave one somewhere for you, you’ll have sex within the next 24 hours. It’ll turn into a great way to ask for sex without saying “So… you wanna?” and you’ll get a thrill every time you find one of the signals.

6. Leave Love Notes

On the subject of leaving treats for your partner to find, whatever happened to the good old-fashioned love note? Cute texts are wonderful, and it’s nice to hear sweet nothings whispered in your ear. But there’s something nice about the time it takes to write out a note and the happy surprise of finding it waiting for you.

Leaving love notes around for your partner to find can be a great way to add some new passion to your love life. Whether the note is sweet and romantic or too hot to handle, it’ll make your partner happy. And according to a study, happy people have more sex, which makes them happier – it’s the best kind of cycle.

7. Watch a Movie Together

If you’ve been a couple for a long time, you’ve probably had a movie date night. It’s nice to pick out a film together, get some popcorn, and snuggle into the couch to watch the story unfold. But for this date night, we have a suggestion for making things steamier: instead of watching a rom-com or thriller, try watching some porn.

Yes, porn is ridiculous and has very little to do with actual sex. But there is something undeniably sexy about watching other people get it on. So pick a flick you and your partner are both into, get the porn rolling, and see where the night takes you.

Find More Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life

Having good sex often is a key part of a happy life for many people. Using some of these ideas can bring passion back into your love life and remind you of what it felt like to fall in love with your partner the first time.

If you’d like to find more ideas to improve your love life, check out the rest of our site at Our Relationship. We provide effective online relationship advice to help your relationship thrive. Check out our programs for couples today.

Grant Funding

Funding for these programs was provided by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant Number 90FM0063

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